Nothing Under the Sun

08.22.17 | Video | by DCC Story Team

My parents divorced when I was very young. It was pretty much my mom raising four boys. My mom was gone waiting tables late nights. We'd get home from school and right when we'd be getting home, she'd be leaving at like 4 pm and working until midnight sometimes.

I think being a middle child, I think I longed for a lot of things I wasn't getting at home. I just wanted to be noticed. I wanted to be seen, and I figured, if I could be successful in music, doing something I loved, man, it would fill all my voids and all my desires I had as a kid.

I thought, the next venture, the next city or the next woman, or the next anything...I just remember in 2013, the most successful year in my music career, it was a great night, I just won five awards and I just remember sitting at the bar and I'm just like, "I don't even want to be here." 

My mom gave me the book Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and it mentioned how we weren't made for earth and that's why our hearts are always longing for something this earth will never satisfy. This is the answer I've been looking for my whole life. Nothing under the sun will satisfy me and I know that. I know that now.

So I started going to Celebrate Recovery about a year ago, when I finally realized - or I started to address my sex addition. No matter how much you messed up or what you've done, they welcome you with open arms. 

I was glorifying things like women and drinking and all this other kind of stuff. I tried filling voids with sex for almost 20 years of my life. After 20 years, still nothing. 

Now my music is more faith-based and I really enjoy honoring Christ with my music because it's one of those things like, what would you do if you found the cure for aids or you found the cure for cancer or something like that and you knew you could cure millions of people around the world. What would you want to do? You would want to share with the world, right? You'd want to scream out loud and say, "Hey! I've got the cure!" you know what I mean?

I want to share with the world the cure for my depression, for those voids for all those things I longed for as a kid and the best way I know how to do that is with my talents, what the gifts God gave me - my passion and talent for music and film making. That's why my new album, I'm honoring and glorifying God. I'm trying to share with the world how loving and forgiving He is and how graceful He is and how merciful He is and hopefully bring more people to Him with my music.